Comfort Factor...

Some habits are hard to break and more addictive than any...everyone has such a vice and mine is my constant need for the music...the streaming music, any genre. I enjoy all kind and I listen to some just to understand why it topped the charts...but invariably some appeal and that becomes your infatuation for next few days. It does not have to be the most recent ones either, sometimes i get infatuated with old songs too. Its so connected with my moods and thought process, maybe the phase of my life. As long as its appealing, even the language does not matter to me.

Those long moments when sleep seems eluding, short distances with the jarring traffic noises, never ending long journeys to reach a destination with rising impatience, lost in my work and not requiring any interference and most importantly, when i am alone with my thoughts...those are the times when the music has been my sole companion, soothing and exciting as required and rendering those moments easier to bear...its a fascination that would set the pace of my dreams, lifting the spirits up and clearing the muddles in my mind...crazy as it sounds, i tend to associate any song i play with my situation...there seems to be some connecting factor...i wonder what i would do if i was born in a place where music was banned or it never existed on earth...would surviving life be more harder than it seems now?

I have been able to write about other topics easily than i have struggled to put my thoughts down on my love for music...maybe words are not enough to express its contribution in my life...and the above said is meagre expression of its importance.

Existence...

Surrounded by people but still a loner,
Family to love and protect but never understood,
Work to survive material life but no feat of achievement,
Friends abound and merry but none the sole comfort factor,
Life extends vast and promising but mere survival.

As we go forward in life, we seem to retract our path back to solitary existence...

When I reminisce...

Why do i feel so alive as dusk sets than in the dawn? is it because i hate the normality of the day and love the solitary moments when i reminisce about life? is it those moments when i dont need to act in particular manner to avoid being judged, how could they when the society is asleep and free spirits are awakened? maybe this is what they refer as ghost...the inner soul that questions us, scarier than watching pale visions...hmm, i wonder if the vision is us, burdened by the non-existence of a reason to live.
Reading this, even i would wonder if am unhappy...sometimes i am and sometimes i am not...its not something caused by people or circumstance (maybe they are the sub-factors)...i feel disconnected to my surroundings and i haven't a clue about it. I am not philosophical by nature and i do not want to know life defined by reality...I am unwilling to accept my limitations and go by normality...why cannot people believe in dreams, the great ones and truly believe they would come true..so what if you are a dreamer, we gotta be happy that we atleast feel alive when we dream...i have never been so personal on my blog but it seems to be a backlash to me from my inner thought process...
it gets harder not to think, look around and see how foolish we are sometimes...always wonder if i am a fool or considered as one (btw, not that it matters;))...guess what, i like my own style of foolishness than being normal, caught up so passively in the passage of time.

WHAT AM I??

I have always thought am a stubborn person who would lead my life in my terms or protest. I never knew I possessed the stamina to let go of desires and sit back to let life take me through its myriad paths and transitions. More clinical than I have ever been, detached to the reality and prioritizing someone else’s need seems new to me…does this mean I have grown wise or jaded?

Altering Perceptions...

Does truth creep in those silent moments when we have nothing to think about…Does it strike you when you are laughing for a joke and realize it could have been you…Have you ever wondered why things happen the way they do and then you sense no logic in the flow but its meant to be a learning??

Here is one such thing, I feel burdened with the expectations I have from myself and others…Every one of them laid by the society and none have true human values…why do we always lay conditions to make a friend or partner…aren’t these suppose to be heartfelt and we are suppose to look beyond the obvious. Life seems to be all about education, career and retirement… it seems everyone plans it that way for themselves and those surrounding them…does education need to be a criterion to be intelligent? Does background need to be criterion to show good values? Does presence of family need to be criterion for being stable?

I am not questioning anything here or raising objections against the functioning of society…unless we are part of it, how do we realize the values? I ideally would not want to make decisions based on these factors…I want to believe in goodness, generosity and positive aspect of humanity and not the materialistic aspect…sound like utopia to even mend myself in that manner…I have these thoughts but not the inclination to act upon it…my mind seems to be stereotyped and first thing it seeks is the criteria’s I am opposed to.

Untitled:)

Imagine you don't need to impress anyone with words or actions. You don't need to dress or act smart…just show the rawness of your feelings, express the unexpressed, emote the true reactions and laugh or cry with such atrocity.

Write what flows in your mind, never edit it and make mistakes…well who cares? Don't explain if its not understood…simply not follow logic. Imagine walking away if need be or not being silent in awkward situations…shrug your shoulder when you can’t solve a problem rather than believe you need to have a solution…money is the least consideration…

Don't ask me the question “why?”…just honor these written words.

A faraway dream

In the moment of silence,
I see the graceful presence;
The enlightening vision,
Leads to soulful confession;
Awaken the inner peace,
Bid adieu with eternal hope.

Blessed with your invisible presence in reality, I close my eyes hoping this dream would come true...